Sapporo

Let me start with a little vanity when I say, this is a good looking can. It has a very nice shape and feels good in your hand every time you grab it to take a gulp of the very smooth taste, without much of an aftertaste. It has a refreshingly vivid taste that can only be described as actually refreshing. I feel like many other beers make this claim, but Sapporo actually delivers on their aim to truly provide a refreshing taste. I think that it goes excellent with most food, and would definitely recommend this beer to anyone looking for something that quenches the thirst and is not too heavy. As an import, I believe that Sapporo is both easily available in most stores, and usually priced quite fairly, which is key when purchasing any of the signature beers of a country. Keep in mind, would anyone buy Budweiser or Coors products if they were priced as imports? I leave that for the consumer to decide.


Final Verdict: The beer is flavorful, refreshing, and goes well with food. Not a bad choice if you are looking to break the monotony of domestics, without sacrificing that very basic "beer flavor" that is borderline generic.

Heineken (Keg Can)

What can I say about a beer I am so openly against? I enjoyed Heineken wen it came from the tap, in Amsterdam, where the real stuff is made, as opposed to the watered-down crap we get her in the States. Let's keep this short and simple; Heineken has a smooth taste, but a strong after taste I do not care for. The keg can is a great size, but it's merely a novelty that does not affect the taste. Heineken in the United States is far too watered down from the original brew, it simply cannot be considered anything above average. I wish that the company would recognize that at least some Americans enjoy tasteful beer, and they should not proceed with subjecting to us to quasi-beer or poor renditions of a quality product. To me, Heineken goes great wit food, and you should definitely consider it if you are looking for a reasonably priced import to drink at home with some food while watching regular television (definitely not prime-time though).


Final Verdict: This beer will always get sales, but not from me, and hopefully not from you.

Stella Artois

Stella, my love, if only every woman that carried your name was as appealing as you. Moving on from the sad realization that far too many undesirables carry your name, this Stella is the one you keep. I have to be honest, Stella's scent is not the most appealing to me, but boy does this beer make up for it in taste. Not only is it incredibly smooth and easy going, from the very first sip to the last gulp, the beer is refreshingly great tasting. Even the after taste is one that you simply cannot complain about, how could you?! Stella Artois has that rare quality that allows it to be a regularly consumable beer, regardless of the situation, the accompanying food, or the time of the season. I am no expert when it comes to pairing alcoholic beverages with food items, but my pallet is the only compass I need to guide me in the direction of this amazing import. Stella needs to be ranked highly on everyone's "drinkability" list and should easily make its way to your regular rotation of brews (if it's not already there). Easily the second best beer I have reviewed on this blog (behind only my beloved Guinness Draught) and probably the most popular. So whenever you get the urge to drink a solid beer that is not too heavy or filling and is loaded with taste, try giving Stella a try, she  unlike other Stellas, is very desirable.

Final Verdict: Drink this beer!

Bud Light Golden Wheat

Wow. Don't get overly excited, it's not the greatest, but it was definitely a pleasant surprise. I can definitely attest to the lighter taste and less filling nature of Bud Light Golden Wheat - at least compared to Budweiser Select. I feel like this beer actually lives up to its name of being light, but unlike most light beers, there is definitely taste in this beer - a welcomed change. Unlike some of the other Budweiser brand beers, this beer is actually something I would drink again, maybe even offer it to other people when they came over for a drink in the summer time. However, the beer is not good enough to make it into my regular rotation, however, there is no harm in picking up a pack or two and mixing it into the cooler full of ice you keep near the grill on a summer afternoon. Other than that, I really would not recommend this beer for regular consumption, ad definitely not outside the summer season (unless unseasonably warm). On a complete side note, really hate the damn orange bottle cap and stupid swirl on the label, make me feel like I am drinking some sort of magical concoction or a tropical fruit drink. Hint to Budweiser: drop the swirl! Let the beer sell itself, there really is no need for the extra gimmick.

Final Verdict: Surprisingly not bad. Definitely can drink it again in the summertime.

Land Shark Lager

Had high expectations for this beer, which was mistake number one I soon discovered, as I took a big gulp of the 4.5% alcohol tasteless Corona (an already non-tasty beer) with the shark fin on it. Thoroughly disappointed, I had hoped that Land Shark Lager would pack more of a punch, but the bottom line is this beer lacks taste. It is very light and easy to go down, reminding me of a prominent ingredient in this crap, water, something I do not want my beer to remind me off! What this beer lacks in flavor, it makes up in "chuggability" (totally not a word) though, being that water is probably the easiest thing i the world to chug, and this beer is not only made up primarily of water, the folks who bottle this crap were so generous as to leave the watery taste in there for our consumption. Thanks for nothing guys, when I feel thirst for water, I usually pay a dollar for a bottle of Poland Spring, I don't order a beer! Nobody wants to consume a beverage that is so eerily reminiscent of water when they are consuming any type of alcoholic beverage! Even the bottle is stupid looking and I am glad no one was here to actually see me holding it, with my terrible luck, they catch a picture of me and it circulates around the Internet promoting the horribly inaccurate notion that I actually enjoy this watery crap, or perhaps even worse, that I enjoy holding bottles with animated sharks on them. Even the cap sucked!

Final Verdict: This beer sucks! It tastes entirely like water and I will never purchase it again (neither should you). Also, stay away from sharks. Sharks are not friendly. 

Miller Genuine Draft

This should be renamed and relabeled as Miller Genuine Crap! Wow, I thought Beck's was a bad call, but this poor excuse for an alcoholic beverage is by far the worst beer I have ever consumed. There is simply no way this could ever be considered an acquired taste, unless of course, you are of the belief that you can consume anything if you have it enough. Miller Genuine Draft needs to have the alcohol content (5.0%) quadrupled before it is reintroduced into the market place. How anyone can willingly consume this beverage is beyond me. As I struggled to down the baby sips I was taking of this beer, I could not help but wonder if my own urine tasted this bad, or what the hell were they thinking during their aggressive advertising campaigns a few years back, that promoted the beer as a "manly" beer consumed by individuals who lived in the "high life."Right, the high life, even if that was a play on words or some sort of cute hidden message, it does not change the fact that the end product is utterly disgusting and unworthy of consumption. I need to compose myself before I continue to write this blog, and so will take a moment to gather my thoughts and return to this rating.

This beer is an absolute insult to even the cheapest of domestics and it sure as hell is not manly, unless being manly entails wanting to puke every sip of alcohol you consume. This beer lacked one of the most important features that every beverage absolutely needs, TASTE! Where is the taste?! I could not find it, and I sure as hell could not finish this disgusting bottle. I am not ashamed to admit that I poured out a couple ounces, I simply could not continue to inflict that level of torture on my stomach.

Final Verdict: Piss in a bottle and chill it - that would have more taste, more character, and probably be less disgusting than Miller Genuine Draft. You could not pay me to drink this crap again.

Beck's

Seriously?! What in the name of alcohol heaven is that damn smell? This is perhaps the funkiest smelling beer I have ever consumed in my life - and that's quite a mouthful since I have no less than 250 different beers under my belt. How do people drink this crap?! It has a weird taste that, confusingly enough, I cannot taste! I only taste how bad this beer is when I burp, and that after-burp taste is quite discouraging.


Seriously, why can i not taste this beer?! It's similar to drinking a tainted glass of drinking water - you know that you are consuming a beverage (a liquid) but there is no real distinguishable taste, just something that is off, weird even. That is precisely my experience with Beck's. It's hard to believe that this is actually a popular beer, that it is made in Germany, and that it boasts 5.0% alcohol content.


I am so glad that this beer is over, and I must admit that in order to finish the beer and bring this horrible experience to an end, I chugged the beer and quickly opened the next bottle that was nearby, in hopes of washing away the sheer thought of this terrible experience.


Final Verdict: Never again. Please do not consume this beer, you would be better off drinking a cheap 24oz can of Malt Liquor.

Budweiser Select

Budweiser, the "King of Beers" as they have self proclaimed themselves to be, have their version of a low-calorie beer that boasts only 99 calories per bottle. This beer is known as Budweiser Select, and it aims to maintain the same flavorful experience as a regular Budweieser, but with a fraction of the calories!


Alright, now that the gimmick is out of the way, the fact of the matter is quite simple with this beer: it tastes very much like regular Budweiser, which is exactly what they company set out to accomplish. However, not being much of a fan of Budweiser, this was an unpleasant discovery for me. The beer to me was unoriginal and hence lacked any creativity. This lack of creativity contributed directly to a weird aftertaste that lingers in the back of your throat. At 4.3% alcohol content, this beer wont even get you drunk fast, and that's a damn shame, because flavor this beer does lack, and to add insult to injury, this beer is just as filling as regular Budweiser!


Final Verdict: I will never drink this again, it simply is not the right beer for me, and it lacks way too much in order to ever make it into the maybe pile.

The Gauntlet

Tonight. Amongst all the other consumption that will take place, these six shall stand before me, and all shall fall (and then be blogged about)! This is a wonderfully silly adventure I am embarking on, a short one I might add, where I will regularly pick up a six pack of mix and matched beers from the local bodegas, and take on a select batch of beers that I will then write about.


So the six beers in this batch are:

1. Bud Light Golden Wheat
2. Land Shark Lager
3. Stella Artois
4. Miller Genuine Draft
5. Budweiser Select
6. Becks

Let's see how this turns out!

Foster's Premium Ale

I originally thought this can was Foster's Bitter, and was instead pleasantly surprised to discover that it was not. Instead, Foster's Premium Ale - an English Pale Ale, is quite good by my standards. Better than regular Foster's, the Premium Ale has a distinctive after taste that presents a much crisper, slightly bitter nature that you feel as you swallow. Now, by no means is this a great beer, but again, the sheer size of the can (25.4 oz) and the 5.5% alcohol content, combined with the pleasant taste, makes for a satisfying drinking experience, I would recommend to others. Besides, for the price of one of the oilcans, you simply cannot beat the taste value. Foster's Premium Ale provides a great "bang for you buck" ratio, and that two is an important characteristic of a beer - at least for me it is. In addition, the regular availability of the beer in local bodegas makes it a regular in my fridge.

Final Verdict: Definitely try it out. Great value import with character, clear taste distinguishing, and a solid reputation for being one of the biggest cans you can get.

Foster's

"Foster's, Australian for beer." A popular slogan that really holds no weight, but a good beer nevertheless. The internationally recognizable oil can claims to be as Australian as a kangaroo, but actually, the beer does not enjoy much popularity in Australia, which is quite sad actually. Moving on, who can safely say that they have, in the past, looked at a Foster's can and not have been at least minimally intrigued by the 25.4 oz, blue and gold, aluminum can of Kangaroo beer? To quote Kat Williams, "not nobody." It was indeed that giant can that attracted me to the beer, and I am glad that my superficiality finally came through! Foster's is a solid beer that is surprisingly good. Though not the smoothest of beers, Foster's delivers a solid lager taste and should not be taken lightly. I enjoyed this massive can of beer with a tasty steak and greens this evening, and I look forward to drinking the "Bitter" can of Foster's that is currently sitting in my fridge.

Final Verdict: Definitely a solid beer that comes in a massive amounts and can be enjoyed by most.

Guiness Draught

The journey begins here... A pint of Guinness Draught, "breast milk of the angels" accompanying a wonderful game played by my beloved AS Roma (Italian Soccer Club). What can I say about Guinness that has not already been said? It is a wonderful beer that knows international fame and recognition and is either loved or hated. Very few people can actually tread the line of having mixed feelings for the lack beauty. It almost seems as if the beer forces you to take a stand, much like the country that brews the splendid porter (Ireland), where it continues to be the most popular selling alcoholic drink of all time. Apologies to those who like to remain neutral, but Guinness is not for you! You have to love beer, specifically porters, if you are going to survive the first couple of sips and gulps - a fact that my roommate can attest to, as he currently washes out his mouth (much to my amusement). He simply cannot hang with the wonderfully acquired taste likened to liquid gold (and I don't mean oil!).

It must be said that Guinness is most definitely an acquired taste. The beer itself is heavy, thick, and carries a very strong and distinctive taste.  Despite the fame, Guinness has a low alcohol content, coming in at only 4.1%. However, it really lives up to the "meal in a can" label that discourages some from drinking the wonderful brew, as it is very filling and not particularly the best choice for chugging (not that I do that or anything). However, nothing beats sitting back and enjoying a Football (Soccer) good match while sipping down a pint of the "black stuff." The two seemingly go hand and hand, and nothing encourages rowdy behavior than some good old fashioned porter to fuel those passionate chants, taunts, and jeers.

Final Verdict: Thought not for all, definitely for me, and I hope that in the next life, Guinness flows from fountains - free of charge and in abundance.